My Version of WW
by JoeyHyrulesHero
Summary: Joey and his friends invade Wind Waker in yet another Zelda Parody. What could they possibly do now? Rated T for language and jokes made by teenagers.
1. Chapter 1

Joey: Well now, yes, I started TP, but I couldn't wait any longer to start WW either, so here we go.

Mike: Can I do the disclaimer?

Joey: You know I'm lazy, you don't have to ask, go ahead.

Mike: Disclaimer: Joey does not own Zelda or anything really… he has no money.

Joey: Thanks… Now, Onto the Story!

My Version of Wind Waker: Chapter 1

(Black screen, Justin Joey Fangz and Nick walk in from off screen)

Joey: (Holding a sheet of music and turns to Justin and Fangz)

Justin: (pulls a violin out of nowhere)

Fangz: (Does the same accept a bass guitar)

Joey: (looks at fangz, then at the music sheet) Hey, there's no bass guitar part…

Fangz: There is now… Why aren't you playing too?

Joey: Well, its kind of hard to play an instrument with one hand (holds up arm cannon)

Fangz: Oh right…

Joey: (raises hand to conduct)

(Everyone starts playing the Story theme for Wind Waker and nick holds up cue cards which have the story lines written on them)

Nick: (holds up a cue card that says "And Nick saved the day")

Joey: (stops conducting) No nick… you didn't…

Nick: (holds up another that says "Nick… and his sidekicks")

Joey: Damn it nick!

Justin: Oh screw this. (a holographic keyboard appears and Justin starts playing the Zelda Remix)

Joey: Oh goddamn it! Fuck it, lets just get to outset (snaps and everyone vanishes)

Outset Island

Aryll: (comes out of the house) Brother! (Walks towards the bridge)

(Just before Aryll reaches the bridge she is stuck by a bolt of lightning, Joey Fangz and Justin are standing around Aryll, who is face down on the ground and scorched black)

Fangz: (hair is standing up in all different directions) There has got to be a less conspicuous way to travel…

(A giant Yacht pulls up to the island, the ramp slams down into the sand and nick walks down the ramp)

Joey: yea… real inconspicuous

Nick: What? This is my small Yacht!

Joey: Its bigger than the island!!!

Nick: So?

Joey: (sighs) Well we should go get link…

Nick: Why bother?

Joey: It's the point of the story genius.

Nick: Oh yea…

Joey: (snaps and Link appears in midair, asleep, and falls on top of Aryll)

Link: Umph! (Sits up) Wha?!

Joey: Ah yea, I forgot just how short link was in this game… (Places his foot on top of links head and poses like Captain Morgan)

Everybody's got a little Captain in them!

Joey: What the hell?! Where did that come from?!

Justin: (coughs) Sorry!

Joey: Weird…

Justin: So, what's the theme of this story?

Joey: Theme? Umm, its Zelda dumbass

Justin: No, I mean an on going joke or something along those lines…

Joey: oh yea… I got something kinda funny… (Snaps)

Link: (Pajamas turn pink and he grows boobs)

Justin: … you made link a girl? That's it?! 

Joey: I think its pretty funny!

Link: AHH!! Its gone!!! (Panics)

Fangz: Wait… what did you do?!

Joey: Well, I made link a girl…

Nick: (scoots towards Link)

Fangz: (leans over to look at link) And this advances the plot how? Are… are those… E?!

Link: (smirks) Jealous?

Joey: Fangz is jealous?! (Snaps and Fangz has Es)

Fangz: Gah! (Falls forwards) MY BACK! (Bounces back up) Gimme my old ones back!

Joey: Oh fine, kill all the fun… (Snaps and fangz is back to normal and link has more a realistic chest size)

Fangz: (Breathes)

Link: Well, I guess this isn't so bad… (Pokes her boobs) heh… awesome… oh! I should get home! Today is-

Joey, Nick, Justin, Fangz: (in unison) Your birthday.

Link: Yea… you guys are creepy (picks up Arylls telescope) I can pawn this later. (Starts walking to her grandmothers house)

Nick: (scoots up to link again) Would you like some "Ting"?

Joey: Shhh nick not yet! The readers won't get the joke!

(They arrive at grandmas house)

Link: Hey grandma, I'm home!

Grandma: Link! Here, I have this green tunic for you, you gotta wear it because its your birthday. (Whispers) fag…

Link: Yea… umm I don't think so…

Fangz: Alright, hold him down… (cracks knuckles)

Joey: You mean her, right?

Fangz: Whatever!

(Everyone tackles link and a cartoon cloud fight appears, when the smoke clears link is wearing the Heroes Clothes)

Link: Gah, what the hell… these are kind of tight…

Joey: Well those were designed for a male… (Snaps and links tunic is now pink)

Link: (sighs) it fits better… but just because I'm a girl now doesn't mean I like pink…

Joey: Yea, but its funny.

Mike: Just change her back or she wont stop nagging.

Joey: Whatever (snaps and the tunic is green)

Link: Much better.

Grandma: Well, you should go get your sister, its going to be time to eat soon.

Joey: I'm sure she's still face down in the sand.

(Everyone exits the house)

Nick: Hmm, I notice that links grandma didn't seem to care that link was a chick, oh hey, I notice that your suit is different now Joey, is it the real one?

Joey: (in the PED suit I haven't played Metroid Prime 3 yet so I don't know of any of the other suits Yea, it is.

Nick: So she's pissed again isn't she?

Joey: (smirks under the visor) Yea she is.

(If this is the first of my stories you have read, you should know that I steal Samus's power suits on a constant basis)

Link: (is ahead of the group kicking Arylls unconscious body in the kidney) Wake up!

Joey: That's real effective.

(A large shadow of a bird passes by)

Link: What the hell… (pulls out the telescope and looks up to see the Helmaroc

King) Holy shit that's huge bird! Wait… he's got a girl! (Thought bubble appears above links head Girl + Rescue Sex)

Nick: (reading links thought bubble) ooh lesbianism

Link: What are we waiting for?

Joey: And just how, may I ask, are you going to get the girl from the birds talons?

Link: Oh damn… Didn't think about that…

Joey: Yea, that seems pretty common in your family… (Watches as the pirate ship lobs cannonballs at the bird) Wow… a catapult… THEY ARE PIRATES FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHERE'S THE CANNON!?

(every single shot misses)

Joey: Wow… morons… (Arm cannon switches to Annihilator Beam and he charges it up and aims at the Helmaroc King)

Link: What's he doing?

Fangz: He's probably going to blow something up…

Joey: (Fires the Sonic Boom at the Helmaroc King)

Helmaroc King: (screeches loudly, his faceplate cracks and he drops Tetra into the forest on top of the island)

Link: Whoa… nice shot!

Joey: Thank you…

Nick: (leans over to fangz and whispers) The suit aims for him.

Joey: Hey! I heard that!

Justin: (talking in a zombie like tone) Link… you will need a weapon, go to Orcas house and acquire a sword. (Falls over backwards) sugar sugar sugar sugar (continues to repeat)

Link: Is he okay?

Joey Nick and Fangz: No.

Link: Well, lets go get me a sword then?

Joey: And your going to listen to this psychopath?

Link: Yeap

Joey: Wow, I thought you were smart…

Nick: Well at least they are getting better compared to OOTs link.

Joey: Yea.

(Link steps up to Orcas door and everyone else follows)

End Chapter 1

Joey: Well now, its about time I started Wind Waker, I'm skipping MM so I can come up with more ideas. But for now, leave a review, please, no flames.


	2. Chapter 2

Joey: Alright, the fastest update I've ever done! Mike, you know what to do.

Mike: Yea yea.

Disclaimer: Joey does not own anything he puts in this story, we have gone over this a million times, and Joey is very poor.

Chapter 2.

Link and co. walk into Orcas house.

Nick: So yea, you get a suit from your grandma for your birthday, then leave the house with 5 total strangers, I'm pretty sure that's the first rule in the "How Not To Get Raped" booklet…

Joey: Yea especially right here (flips to a page in a tiny booklet and shows it to link, it has nicks picture on the page)

Link: (stops and thinks for a moment, smoke starts to leak out of her ears) Ohh, yea I didn't think about that… well, I'm Link!

Fangz: Yes link, we already knew that.

Joey: Well, im Joey, (points to each person in turn) and that's Nick, Fangz, Mike and… where's Justin?

Fangz: Oh god…

Justin: (still twitching on the ground outside) sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar (continues)

(Back inside)

Orca: (thrusting himself against the fish on the wall)

Link: Orca?

Orca: (stops) Wait wait… let me finish…

Nick: Wow, he is the fattest skinny person I have ever seen in my entire life…

Orca: (turns around from the fish) Don't you people ever knock? (Zips up pants)

Link: Orca, I'm here for a sword.

Orca: All right, here take it, its about time you decided to kill yourself. Just do it outside, I don't want to have to clean up after you.

Joey: I think its best not to ask let's just leave.

(Outside of the house)

Link: All right, the path should be over there. (Points in the direction of the pathway that leads up to the forest)

(They reach the wall of small trees)

Link: Aw, come on, who the fuck grew a line of trees across the entrance?

Joey: Try using your sword genius.

Link: Oh… yea, duh. (Swings sword at the trees and it bounces off)

Joey: I always wondered why you could cut through trees in the game, it's not that easy…

Link: (hacking away at the trees, cutting them like an axe)

Joey: Alright, step back (arm cannon switches to plasma beam and shoots the trees)

(the trees erupt into flames and burn to ash)

Joey: She's up in the forest.

Link: And the bridge is out…

Nick: Well, looks like this story's over, we can't get to the girl, time to go.

Link and Joey: (jump the gap)

Nick: (randomly appears on the other side of the gap) What the hell?!

Joey: That was cool, how did you do that?

Nick: I have no idea…

Mike and Fangz follow.

Justin: (flies up to the top of the cliff to the rest of the group, flames flying out of his butt)

[Read my OOT story if you want to get why he does that

(They all enter the forest)

Joey: The rest of the island is so nice, why is this place a dump?

Link: This place is a dump, pigs fucking running everywhere… (Spots tetra) There! Up in the tree!

Joey: (already ahead of link, killing the first of the two monsters)

Link: hey! She's gonna be mine, let me kill one!

Joey: Ha, all right then, kill this one.

(The bird drops off the second monster)

Link: (jump attacks the monster and knocks it on its back) Well, that was easy.

[Sorry, I can't remember the name of the monster.

(The monster stands back up)

Link: What the hell? I just sliced him in half with my sword! (Thrusts her sword through the monster and it explodes into a black cloud of smoke and link starts coughing and falls over)

Joey: Stand up ya wuss.

Link: (after about five minutes she stands back up) FEMALE! IN TREE!

Joey: Yes, link, she's still there.

Link: (looks up to see that tetra is still hanging in the tree by her pants)

Fangz: Ooo, she's going to have one hell of a wedgie.

Tetra: (Eyes open) What the hell? Ahhh my ass! (Wriggles around and the branch snaps, she hits the ground right on her butt) owe, damn it that hurts (picks at her wedgie, then looks up at link) What the… what's with the get up?

Link: Well, I'm Robin Hood, and these are my merry men, and when I say merry, I just mean happy, we aren't gay…

Tetra: Two of you are girls…

Link: And your point is?

Gonzo: (comes running in through the cave) Miss Tetra! Miss Tetra!

Link: (points her thumb back at gonzo) And that's little john.

Joey: (leans over to nick) How does she know about Robin Hood? This is like a totally different universe.

Justin: (leans in) Maybe they have cable?

Nick: This is an island, you can't hook up cable!

Justin: All right they have Satellite then!

Gonzo: Miss Tetra! We were afraid that you might have been killed when that bird dropped you on the summit of the island.

Tetra: So I was dropped on an island? That wasn't very nice of it.

Link: So are we gonna do it now?

Tetra: Huh? What do you mean?

Link: Well, I saved you, doesn't that mean we get to do it?

Tetra: But, you're a girl…

Link: So?

Tetra: Keep dreaming.

Link: But! (Thought bubble appears above links head, link points up at it) The thought bubble said it would happen!

Tetra: (ignoring link) C'mon, let's go repay our debt to that bird, in full. (Runs off towards the exit)

Everyone else follows Tetra.

(Outside at the cliff)

Aryll: (on the other side of the bridge) Damn it Link! I'm going to kill you! You took my Telescope! (Starts to run across the bridge)

Link: (cuts the ropes on her side of the bridge)

(The bridge gives out an Aryll falls)

Helmaroc King: (swoops down and catches Aryll in mid fall and flies off with her)

Link: No damn it! There were pointy rocks down there! Why did you have to screw it up you stupid bird! C'mon guys lets go finish the job! (Turns to Tetra) But Tetra still needs to give me my reward first. (Smirks)

Tetra: (Pushes link off the side of the cliff) How's that for a reward!

Link: (hits the water and surfaces a few moments later) Oh! So you want to do it in the water then? Kinky!

Nick: Well, I think me and link are going to have a beautiful friendship. (Shoves Tetra off the edge)

Tetra: Ahh! (Lands on top of link in the water)

Gonzo: How dare you touch Miss Tetra! (Punches nick off the edge)

Nick: (lands on Link and Tetra when they surface again)

Justin: (jumps off the edge and does a cannon ball)

Nick, Link, and Tetra: (stare at justin)

Justin: What? Everyone was doing it!

(Shadow appears over Justin and gonzo lands on top of him)

(Back on top of the cliff)

Fangz: (looks over at Joey) Touch me and die…

Joey: I wouldn't think of such a thing!

Fangz: Good! (Shoves Joey off the edge)

Joey: Gah you bitch! (Shoots grapple beam at fangz and catches her, pulling her off the cliff with him)

Everyone in the water now

Link: Hey! These help me float!

Joey: Oh Jesus…

(About 20 minutes later)

(At the docked pirate ship)

Tetra: What?! You want to come with us?

Link: Yea, I need to finish the job, and I won't rest till I get my reward!

Tetra: Give me one good reason that I should bring you all along?

Link: I still have to get my reward…

Nick: (walks onto the dock dressed like captain jack sparrow) My name is Long John Silver, and yes I have a long john, thank you.

Link: Is it silver?!

Nick: No, it's gold! A 24-karat tally whacker!

Fangz: Oh god.

Link: Its either you take us with you or my friend here lights fire to your ship! (Points back at Joey)

Joey: (picks up link by the top of her head and places links face against his suits visor) You don't get to tell me what to do, you may be a girl now, but I wont hesitate to kick your ass.

Link: R-right!

Joey: (drops link)

Nick: Show off…

Tetra: I like him (smirks) Fine, you can come along but your going to need something more than that sword, there has to be a shield somewhere on this island.

Link: Fine, ill be back (walks off to her grandmas house, leaving everyone else with Tetra and the other pirates)

(Inside grannies house)

Link: (up in the loft) hmm, I could have sworn there was a shield up here… (Climbs down the ladder)

Granny: Link… are you looking for this… I heard about what happened to Aryll…

Link: Grandma, I'm sorry…

Granny: I paid you a lot of rupees to have her disappear, you better make sure that she doesn't come back…

Link: Don't worry, I just need that shield.

Granny: (hands the shield over to link) Alright, this better be worth what I paid.

Link: (walks towards the door) it will be, don't worry.

(Back at the pirate ship)

Tetra: You call that a shield? Oh fine, but don't start crying when you get a splinter from it. All right everyone! Board the ship! We're setting Sail!

The gong rings out.

(On board the ship)

Link: (looks back as Outset Island disappears into the distance)

Tetra: We can still turn back, if your going to act like a baby and get all home sick.

Link: Home sick? Are you kidding me, I hate that place.

Tetra: Yea, whatever, you guys need to get below deck, Neko will give you some training I'm sure.

Nick: (pops up behind Link, dressed up like Jack Sparrow still) Hey guys! Guess what kind of pirate I am!

Joey: Oh god. (Walks towards the door)

Nick: I'll give you two guesses and the first one doesn't count.

Link: Umm, the kind that likes to give me all his money? (Following Joey)

Joey: Just ignore him… (Walks through the doorway)

Nick: Nooo, I'm a b- (door shuts leaving nick outside)

Neko: Ahh, the new swabbies! Finally I'm no longer the lowest rank! Well, we have a test for you, you have to get across to the other side without touching the ground, before these platforms go down. To activate the platform, just step on this switch. (Steps on the switch and activates the platforms)

Link: Ha, all right, no problem. (Hours later, link finally makes it to the other side)

Neko: What! You did faster than I did!! It took me forever to get that done! Grrrrr, take what's in the chest back there, its your reward for completing the course… bitch…

Link: (walks back and opens the chest and pulls out the bag) what the hell is this? A bag? What do I need it for?

Neko: I don't know, keep your tampons in it or something.

Link: My whats?

Neko: (trying not to laugh) Never mind.

Joey: (asleep at the door)

Link: (kicks Joey in the shin) Wake up.

Joey: (snores and wakes up) Huh, what? Oh, you finally did it?

Link: Yea.

(From above deck) Link! Get up here!

Link: Woo! Time for my reward! (Runs upstairs and out the door)

Joey: Wow (walks after link)

Link: (on deck) Where are you?!

Tetra: Up here! (Waves link up to the crows' nest)

Link: (climbs up)

Nick: (underneath link, staring up as she climbs up) Heh sweet.

Link: (up in the crows' nest with Tetra) Soo, in the crows nest then, eh?

Tetra: No lin-

Nick: (pops up from the side of the crows nest) Arrr! I'm the love pirate! And I'm here to steal yer Booty!!

Link: (thinks for a moment) Hey nick, what are you standing on anyway?

Nick: Oh… shit (falls)

Justin: (from the deck) FIRE ON THE POOP DECK!

Tetra: Why did I let these idiots on my ship?! But, to the point, there, the Forsaken Fortress the place that bird took your sister, the security is real tight, we can't just sail in there… but don't worry (winks) I have a way to get you in…

Link: (is now in a barrel loaded in the catapult) What the hell? Let me out! (Starts to struggle)

Joey: Hey Tetra, why do you guys have a catapult and not a cannon?

Tetra: We had budget cuts this year… Relax link, we are pros we'll get you in just fine. Justin! Fire on my command! 3… 2…

Justin: (pulls the lever and the catapult launches link straight into the mast of the ship) Oops! Sorry, I forgot to aim it around the mast!

Tetra: (chuckles and in a few moments has link loaded back in the catapult) Fire!

(The catapult launches link straight at the forsaken fortress and she hits the side wall of the main building)

End Chapter 2.

Joey: well, I hope you're all enjoying the story so far, please leave a review!


End file.
